Sunday, May 25, 2008

Mom moment

Today was a mixed bag. Back to the city today for dinner with friends. Non-breeding friends. The baby was great until she hit her mouth on the coffee table. And I felt like such a champ. I was keeping her occupied and out of the adults' food. She was happy identifying horses and frogs scattered throughout the friends' apartment. It was also great that I managed to lead the conversation with non-baby topics.

Then the little dog came running up to the coffee table. Dear daughter fell, bumped her mouth and started bleeding. The voice of reason in my head said, "she'll be better if you keep it together". So I kept it together, but mostly for the sake of the rest of the people. So ingrained is it not to make a fuss and to keep up appearances that I calmly checked the baby for injury and decided that we didn't need stitches. She's just about to get her two front teeth. Poor thing, she just doesn't know about life yet. I felt just stupid for letting her fall. She's still wobbly on her feet and looses whatever coordination she's gained as the need for a nap or a good night's sleep approaches.

The mom moment came when I had the helpless feeling that I couldn't help her. She cried in my arms after the fall. She cried in the car seat when I went up front to drive and left her with Daddy in the back seat. She cried to be picked up after I went back to the back seat and nursed her. She cried when she realized I was back driving again, but this time fell asleep holding my hand as I drove. I just couldn't please her or make it better.

The mom moment before that was last night as we pulled into the driveway after a nice and sleepy ride home. I thought about the relief I used to feel when I knew we were home and the day was over. I was so happy to be the loving arms that placed her into a familiar bed after a big night out.

So it's been a big Memorial Day weekend. We survived her first wedding--with compliments on her behavior, even. We visited opening day for the farmers market. We are about to put her in her own bedroom. That's scheduled for tomorrow after the playgroup potluck.

Active busy smiley girl. Sneezing to entertain the hosts. Upset by growling dogs. Panting at happy dogs. Hip hop loving dancey girl.

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