Thursday, May 08, 2008


Everyday is the same. Routine works well for the baby. There are so many wild variations that there's no way to count on that routine, though. We may be in synch for a week where there is a bit of a pattern. Just when I put a pattern together--like 2 hour morning nap--it changes.

And so today I mourn the passage of the 2 hour morning nap. It was a pattern that helped to keep me sane. I could check email, snack, think, and read (READ!!). I could do anything but get up and walk around or go to the bathroom. It was tricky talking on the phone during that time also. How did I do it? I cheated and I kept the baby at my breast on my lap. If she stirred, I just fed her and she drifted off. I thought I was in control.

This system no longer works. She delayed her morning naps last weekend and this Monday when we headed back to the routine, she only slept 50 minutes. I was shocked since she's usually dead tired on Mondays, since weekends are exciting anything-goes times with Daddy and Big Sister.

Days and changes are so gradual, I am happy when I can pinpoint a milestone. See where the changes occurred. I only lament the morning nap because I had a nice spot in the sun and some time to write. I suspect we're heading towards the long afternoon nap and we're getting the 10 hour night down.

I fear the change a bit, but it's also exciting because I'm getting closer to what I thought staying home and being a nicey-nice housewife would be. I thought I would catch up on miscellaneous projects during nap time. I wondered how I would narrow my to do list during that time. I thought I would become an excellent chef in the afternoon and earlier I would wow my husband with the creative yet simple lunch combos I had waiting for him. Turns out I'm grateful to see him at lunch so he can make me a peanut butter sandwich.

I'm preparing a nap center to be used in the afternoons this summer. Part of the reason I didn't put the baby down to nap in our bedroom--the crib location--was because there was no heat and it was chilly all the time. I was looking forward to summer and putting the baby down with a soft summer breeze. The three bedroom windows also let in too much light for the baby's comfort. In her room, currently the storage room, I have dark curtains to block the light and facilitate happy baby napping.

I can't go back to work now. Now that I'm gaining a little sanity. Now that I am able to make not only [peanut butter and jelly], but also [tomato, avocado, lettuce, AND mayonnaise] sandwiches.
And I made two of them today.

I'm still just getting it together and there are more moments when I don't think about the baby.

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