Got to use the sleep now

mama's together for a day

standing
taking up to three steps at a time
saying uh-oh is fun for everyone
pressing buttons with index finger
knows the words bus and diaper
hears a firetruck and wails
thought she said cell phone and want some

mama's new secret weapon: the vacuum
at the right time and place, the vacuum puts her out

while i can't create much art right now, i'm turning to the subtle nuances of baby behavior. i know getting a baby to sleep is tricky, for just the fact that the 13 moms in my playgroup have a hard time. i'm satisfied to be reading her cues for sleep well. it's a large reward for spending all but 2 hours of my awake hours with dear daughter and none spent painting or drawing--some moments spent writing.

yesterday was one of the more perfect days. she napped on my back (in a baby carrier) for an hour while i vacuumed and paced the house wondering what to do with my freedom. she napped in the stroller later. This let me clear the flowerbox out front. we've had plants i let die and weeds i let die there sitting for two years.

on top of that, she slept for 8 hours, then two hours in a row. my mind was clear and i could make up good baby songs. i had dinner ready for dear husband. when he came in the door, the baby yelled "hi!'', we sat down to dinner and i felt like a champ.

everyday

Everyday is the same. Routine works well for the baby. There are so many wild variations that there's no way to count on that routine, though. We may be in synch for a week where there is a bit of a pattern. Just when I put a pattern together--like 2 hour morning nap--it changes.

And so today I mourn the passage of the 2 hour morning nap. It was a pattern that helped to keep me sane. I could check email, snack, think, and read (READ!!). I could do anything but get up and walk around or go to the bathroom. It was tricky talking on the phone during that time also. How did I do it? I cheated and I kept the baby at my breast on my lap. If she stirred, I just fed her and she drifted off. I thought I was in control.

This system no longer works. She delayed her morning naps last weekend and this Monday when we headed back to the routine, she only slept 50 minutes. I was shocked since she's usually dead tired on Mondays, since weekends are exciting anything-goes times with Daddy and Big Sister.

Days and changes are so gradual, I am happy when I can pinpoint a milestone. See where the changes occurred. I only lament the morning nap because I had a nice spot in the sun and some time to write. I suspect we're heading towards the long afternoon nap and we're getting the 10 hour night down.

I fear the change a bit, but it's also exciting because I'm getting closer to what I thought staying home and being a nicey-nice housewife would be. I thought I would catch up on miscellaneous projects during nap time. I wondered how I would narrow my to do list during that time. I thought I would become an excellent chef in the afternoon and earlier I would wow my husband with the creative yet simple lunch combos I had waiting for him. Turns out I'm grateful to see him at lunch so he can make me a peanut butter sandwich.

I'm preparing a nap center to be used in the afternoons this summer. Part of the reason I didn't put the baby down to nap in our bedroom--the crib location--was because there was no heat and it was chilly all the time. I was looking forward to summer and putting the baby down with a soft summer breeze. The three bedroom windows also let in too much light for the baby's comfort. In her room, currently the storage room, I have dark curtains to block the light and facilitate happy baby napping.

I can't go back to work now. Now that I'm gaining a little sanity. Now that I am able to make not only [peanut butter and jelly], but also [tomato, avocado, lettuce, AND mayonnaise] sandwiches.
And I made two of them today.

I'm still just getting it together and there are more moments when I don't think about the baby.

day 2 - got together

Day two of getting it together and it got. Easing back into the workday after making weekend adjustments. Baby's back to naptime routine and she slept 9 hours, 52 minutes with no interruptions last night! I didn't dilly dally after putting her to bed and managed to grab 7 hours, 52 minutes for myself. Sleep is on of the very best things in the world. I'm glad dear daughter has discovered this.

I'm relieved that I avoided the 100 degree temperature virus of big sister. Though we may not yet be in the clear. Daddy and big sister are still home today following the doctor's orders. It's nice to have my husband working next to me in the sun-filled living room. Feels different than a weekend. There's a buzz of productivity in the air. Because Daddy is home, I was able to put on a face mask and organize clothes.

The weather's moving from the long sleeve days to the short sleeve with a cardigan days. As usual, I discovered that I do own more than clothing for just 3 days. Discovered some old goodies in the t-shirt pile and some that had disappeared.

There's also excitement in the air because today playgroup is at the artist's ranch. There will likely be good food and some drama.

And the baby awakes...back to active mothering.